Many Women Dislike Cunnilingus

I am one of six siblings, daughters and sons of a woman with a very healthy attitude towards sex; she is sex-positive, and I have thanked her for that my entire life. My mother never said anything to us which would have devalued pussy or sex in any way; in contrast with grandma who didn’t have great things to say about the pussy or sex, if anything at all. My grandma always insinuated that pussy was dirty but to do so, she would point to her own groin area and say “esto” or “aqui.” I never heard my grandma enunciate the word “chocha,” “crica,” or even “cosa,” what my sisters called theirs. Though I don’t remember sex ever being discussed in an open forum; my mother was always very positive about our challenges, listened closely, and provided insight. This led my sisters, my brothers, and myself to share the same positive attitude towards sex. Yes, some of us became big sluts.

At a very young age, I loved looking at women in underwear in the Sears catalog, or any other catalog or magazine with images of beautiful women. I often read my mother’s Cosmopolitan, and other magazines discussing women, men, and relationships. Yes, these magazines served as my initial sexual education as a young boy. Once I discovered my parents’ porn magazine stash, I graduated to looking at actual naked, more graphic pictures and I read the graphic stories in those magazines from cover to cover. No, there were no video tapes. I’m in my fifties, the video cassette came later…

I remember that oral sex was a big deal in many of the stories I read. The authors went to great lengths to describe acts of cunnilingus and fellatio and I started to wonder how it would be to have my face between a woman’s legs. I heard conversations where men made references to “lambiendo crica,” “comiendo chocha,” “chupandole la pepita,” and my interest kept growing. My mother and my then stepfather had their own way to discuss some of their practices whenever some of my mother’s lady friends came over. Soon this was a subject I discussed with some of my school friends. Since I can remember, I enjoyed the scent of my own genitalia and wondered if pussy smelled the same. I know this may sound weird to some but let me remind you that we’re on FetLife… Yes, I also spent a lot of time wondering if pussy tasted good. Though I had not yet had a chance to eat pussy, I remember developing an affinity for cunnilingus and feeling indifferent about fellatio. I did though, often fantasize about sixty nining any attractive woman in sight. There was no time when I thought about sex that I did not think about cunnilingus. At an early age, I recognized oral sex as sex, not just foreplay. I was obsessed with the idea of eating pussy but having my dick sucked was not something I thought about often.

In fact, the first girl I ever had sexual contact with, was a friend with whom I was having a conversation. As the conversation took a slight turn to sex, I decided to tell her about a story I had read in a magazine from my parent’s porn stash. She was a couple of years older than me and seemed very interested in the sex story I was recounting. She told me that she often heard the sounds coming out of her parents’ bedroom and always wondered what was going on in there. I had just described how the guy was licking the girl’s pussy and my friend’s eyes opened wide. At a point, she shyly asked if I would do that to her, to which I responded, “of course.” I thought “OMFG, my dream is about to come true!” We thought about where to go and there was only one possible option. Not her house nor mine were possibilities and at that age, we didn’t have the monetary resources or a car to drive to a hotel. We found our way into the nearby cane field where we found an appropriate spot to lay down a large piece of cardboard. I don’t quite remember but at this point I would have to say she was probably wearing a skirt or a sun dress, which she lifted, lowered her panties to her ankles, and allowed me to position myself between her legs.

I remember that her pussy was hairy and beautiful and smelled really good. The excitement was killing me as I started licking her pussy. I wasted no time. Her pussy smelled great, similar, yet different scent than my own genitalia. She held my head and moaned. I was encouraged when she let a “se siente tan rico” escape. I wanted to ask her all kinds of questions but I did not want to stop. Of course, her pussy was oozing a sweet clear liquid which I found delicious. I licked her pussy for a few minutes and then stopped. She did not come, we were both very, very young and I was re-enacting something I had read in the dirty magazines. Unfortunately, it was only my first time, I really did not know what I was doing. If only I had had access to an article describing how to actually perform oral sex on a girl I’m sure I would have tried harder. I had indeed read about orgasms but I still needed further training. I loved the way her pussy, looked, smelled and also loved the taste. From that point on, cunnilingus was all I could think about. I did get to lick a few more pussies during my teens, way before anyone sucked my dick.

I also remember that at an early age, I had access to the family 21-volume encyclopedia with a chapter in one of the volumes, devoted to both female and male reproductive systems. Once I discovered “the volume,” imagine my delight when at a young age, I was able to tell all my friends at school all the parts of the female genitalia — vagina, vulva, clitoris, labia minora, labia majora, urethra, uterus. The pictures were great and soon I had “the volume” in my backpack to show the boys. I am sure I was the first boy in my class to learn what the clitoris is and how when properly stimulated, a woman can have an orgasm. Well, today our children will have a more accurate picture of what the clitoris looks like and better information about the brain’s involvement in orgasm. It is kind of sad that many adults today don’t know what the clitoris really looks like and the connection between the brain and orgasms.

Anyway, many of the things I learned during my childhood were the same basic knowledge most of us acquire while we’re young — respect, compassion, tolerance, etc. Some of those things we learned during our childhood seem to have escaped a lot of men in all age groups. I learned early on that as I loved pork and hated liver or preferred chicken over pork, the rest of humanity also had their own likings and preferences. Still, some of us have never truly developed respect for other people’s wishes or the fact that we all have our likes, dislikes, and our preferences. We are all entitled and deserve to be allowed to choose if we want to or don’t want to do something and this the reason why I’m writing about loving cunnilingus and being indifferent about fellatio.

Among other things, I want this piece to be about and show that there is awareness that it is a fact that a big portion of the female population mildly tolerate, does not like, or hate cunnilingus. When I say that there is awareness, I am by no means implying that every male in every age group of every nationality is aware of the fact that not all women enjoy cunnilingus. There is still a lot of sexual ignorance in the world. I call you to consider the fact that when compared with the age of Patriarchy, the Sexual Revolution is still very young. Patriarchy is still very much alive, human equality is still has a long way to go, and this all has a great impact on human sexuality. There have been several waves of a sexual revolution but it is clear it has not been enough, sexuality has not progressed at the rate we would like to see. In 1792, Mary Wollstonecraft published a book called Vindication of the Rights of Women. This was when women had no rights at all and were the property of their husbands. Here is a link for which most men will hate me: “Click at your own risk”. And we cannot ignore the Victorian Era.

When was the last time some of us read a book? What was the subject of the last book we read? My point here is that not all humans read and not all avid readers read about sex. So, where to we acquire knowledge about sex? There is knowledge that is not acquired in school and is located inside a book that costs $30 that only a handful of people will read. I am not really trying to say people should read, though we should; I am rather, establishing that most people don’t read and this is one reason for the lack of sexual knowledge. So, how long does it take to share sexual education with billions of men and women? Of course, some of us claim sex is intuitive but why do so many women complain that the men in their lives can’t fuck? Seems we have the mechanics down but we continue to fail to deliver what women want. Sometimes what a woman want is for us men to stop begging to eat her pussy because she doesn’t like it. How long would it had taken the sexual revolution to have touched billions of people? The battle continues…

My limited research on the subject suggests that there are many reasons why women don’t enjoy or even hate cunnilingus. Researchers say that the human body is of near-perfect design but there are many variations due to many different factors. There is imperfection within what we call perfection of the human body. I know, that did not make much sense but follow me for a moment. There is no perfection, no symmetry. Our right eye is not exactly like the left, just like our right arm might be longer than the left. We are a perfect, yet an imperfect machine. Some people are born with only one kidney and the one they have is defective. Nature plays some nasty tricks sometimes. Yes, penises and clitorises also face challenges to their owners and the owners’ partners. It must be said that whatever the reason for a woman not to enjoy oral sex, it is her reason and men should not imply she’s in any way broken. If a women tells us that oral sex is not for her, we need to listen and leave the subject alone until she’s ready to discuss it.

Here is a sample of some of the reasons women report for their aversion to oral sex listed in various sites:

* It is painful
* Doesn’t feel good
* I can’t orgasm that way
* I feel self-conscious to enjoy it
* It takes me too long
* I’m told it takes me too long
* A guy once complained I don’t smell good
* Someone complained that I have big labia
* Someone complained that my clit is defective because I can’t cum
* My pussy is ugly
* My husband insists I have to squirt
* I’m a lesbian and I hate to have my pussy eaten; there are plenty of other things to do
* Anything short of an industrial-strength back massager doesn’t really do it for me anymore
* Some of us just don’t respond physically to the subtle physical pressure provided by oral sex
* It felt wet and sloppy, as if the guy had zero clue as to what he was doing (many of them didn’t)
* I hate kissing him afterward
* I just put on an act every time
* It’s just kind of boring
* My clit is too sensitive for direct stimulation
* Throws me off because that’s where you urinate, etc

In closing, I want to say that because of my love for it, cunnilingus is non-negotiable. This does not mean that I would force cunnilingus on anyone. What I do mean is that a woman’s dislike for cunnilingus makes her incompatible with me, there is no future, as far as I’m concerned. Yes, it is 100% her prerogative, she is 100% free to exercise her choice and so I am. Both women and men reject people based on all kinds of personality or physical characteristics or flaws almost daily. The chiseled jaw, a person’s height or weight, a person’s eyes, nose, mouth, or ears, even the way we talk or walk. People with opposite religious beliefs or no religious beliefs at all often don’t stand a chance. Political ideology and many other elements might render us unfit to be someone’s partner. We might reject someone and when a friend asks us why, we might say: “I don’t know.” When it comes to sex, why would we have to settle for someone who doesn’t quite fit our preference and chances are they cannot satisfy us in bed? Why should we settle for someone who won’t lick pussy or like her pussy licked? Though I don’t care much for blow jobs, I wouldn’t engage sexually with a woman who will not suck my dick. Sometimes a blowjob is what I want or need. D/s or M/s relationships are governed by a different set of rules and are out of the scope of this article but even then, a contract between you two might be the right solution. Yes, sexual compatibility is indeed important and we shouldn’t leave it to chance.

Disclaimer – I am not a professional in the field of human sexuality and anything discussed herein is the product of personal ideas, what I’ve read in books, and/or some material found online. You are encouraged to reply with your own ideas on the matter and I will thank you for making an intelligent contribution.

Respectfully,
Jou

 

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